Here are 2 Easy Ways to Feel Happier

What does it take to feel happier? How come some people are happier than others? These are the questions that I’ve really been interested in and want to discuss today. For many years I’ve found that becoming happier seemed like such an esoteric topic. It was never taught in schools, nor was it taught by our parents. The information that I’d received from anyone I looked up to was that happiness would come when I got a certain job or if I achieved something of worth in the eyes of my peers.

Undeniably, getting a great job or getting peer recognition does cause a boost in happiness. The trouble is that the boost is temporary. And no one tells you that. We now have studies to demonstrate that winning the lottery increases your happiness by a couple of months to a year. After that, you will go back to the same levels of happiness pre-lottery. It’s just hard to imagine that you’d somehow be not always feel warm and fuzzy in your fancy house, but imagine yourself going to your favourite restaurant everyday. At some point, the joy you feel will experience diminishing returns and it will just feel… well… regular. This happens in relationships too. This is the process of hedonic adaptation i.e. happiness levels simply drift towards a personal mean over the long haul.

This sounds awesome, if you are generally a happy person. Less so, if you aren’t. So what if you are generally less happy – what does this mean? Researchers have found that you can actually increase your happiness ‘mean’ by gratitude and mindfulness.

Gratitude – In a study at University of Pennsylvania, they asked people to write 3 things they were grateful for on a regular basis. They found that compared to those in the control condition, those in the gratitude condition experienced up to 25% more happiness and with lessened feelings of depression. It’s about paying attention to the positives in your life and feeling that appreciation. Given that negative events tend to register more powerfully than positive ones, practicing gratitude is one of the most powerful ways you can counteract this ‘negativity bias’. Things are not perfect? Be grateful anyway. To some people, this may seem foreign, but it’s simply a matter of practice. The more you do it, the more it can paint the way you see things and you become grateful for the life you live.

Mindfulness – Sometimes you can be so caught up with your thoughts that you may forget to pay attention to the moment you are in, or even forget to breathe properly. One study by Matthew Killingsworth found that mind-wandering lead to negative feelings. With mobile phones and overloaded schedules, the increasing amount of distractions you have is actually causing you to be unhappy. How to counteract this? If you are eating, be present and pay attention to the flavours. If you are by a flower, be present and smell it. If you are with a friend, don’t constantly check your phone – check in on your friend. And remember to check in on yourself and breathe. Be present in the moment – it can amplify appreciation and get you connected to yourself and the world.

These are two simple and powerful tips to increase happiness in your life. That said, leading a happier life is a life-long effort. It’s not always easy – but keep your eyes on the prize and remember that you are what you focus on. Keep that focus on the good things in your life and on solutions. I will be updating the blog regularly with tips and tools you can use to increase happiness and help you achieve greater creativity, productivity, and life satisfaction. You can signup for Uplifter, a mobile app that provides daily positive journaling exercises to help lift your mood. www.uplifter.io

3 Big Misconceptions About Happiness

Happiness seems to be the topic that is on everyone's minds. And everyone seems to have a different opinion about it and how to achieve it. But never have we ever had as much research about happiness as we do now. We actually have people dedicated to finding out what makes us happy - including psychologists like Dan Gilbert and happiness experimenters like Gretchen Rubin. And they're all saying the same 3 things - that somehow contradict things that you may be hearing on the street. In fact, common wisdom about happiness oftentimes directly contradicts the research. 

Misconception #1 – Happiness is something you get when you get what you want

Fact - Happiness starts within you

How many people are telling themselves that they will be happy once a certain positive event happens and will be miserable if a certain negative event happens. Getting a job promotion, getting a hot significant other, and winning the lottery are all associated with happiness. On the flipside, losing your job, losing your eyesight, and missing out on a great opportunity are things we associate with unhappiness. And yet, though the initial injection of positive or negative emotion may be real, over and over again, research shows that those who experience happy events and those who experience unhappy events rate themselves as roughly the same in terms of happiness over time. Logically speaking, events in themselves are way overrated. 

What really matters then? Research shows that a mere 10% of our happiness can be roughly attributed to events, a much larger portion to our genetics (50%), and 40% on our intentional activities. These intentional activities range from things like our interpretation of events, being grateful, ability to reflect and meditate, taking care of your body with sleep and exercise. This is good news as it shows that much of our happiness lies within us and can be affected by what we choose to believe and focus on.

Misconception #2 – Happiness is about gaining things for yourself

Fact - Happiness is about other people and giving to other people

Jean-Paul Sartre famously quoted as saying that 'Hell is other people'. And most certainly, we have all experienced a moment where we'd agree with such an assertion. That being said, research shows that happiness is other people too. In fact, it's not even about the happiness that comes when people give us things (which feels pretty good). It's actually the substantial boost in happiness when we give to others. This is most definitely not common knowledge. We try so hard to protect ourselves and preserve our assets. If we are unhappy, we think it best to clutch even harder to 'what is ours'. We fear loss and we share less of our goods, we share less quality time with others, and volunteer less in hopes that we aren't giving our happiness away. And people who seek revenge do so thinking that seeing another suffer will bring about happiness. But as the famous quote says, "before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves". So who knew that self-preservation at the cost of others was so fundamentally detrimental to our happiness.

Research has shown that the top activities that contribute to well-being and happiness are to practice compassion/lovingkindness and gratefulness towards others. Matthew Ricard is a monk who had his brain measured in an MRI scanner. So while he meditated on compassion and loving others - he actually scored the highest in terms of happiness. Happy people also have the tightest networks - strong relationships anchor us.  Gratefulness towards others has also been shown to provide us with a greater happiness. Being generously other-centred then seems to lead to the happiest people in the world.

Misconception #3 – Happiness is a luxury, we really need to focus on work

Fact - Happiness can create success

So we started off that saying that outside circumstances do not bring happiness over the long-term. So it's funny, because research has shown that happiness can actually help bring about good outcomes, both professionally and personally. It gives the effect that people actually feel lucky. So it's funny that once we can let go of the idea that outside circumstances bring happiness and we focus on others - we can actually create better circumstances for ourselves. Shawn Achor has conducted much research relating to this phenomenon – and found that with increased happiness, “every single business and educational outcome we know how to test for improves dramatically.”

Essentially, those who are generous, grateful, forgiving, and aren't tied to their outer circumstances are happiest. And good things start to happen for them. Fortunately, these are all things we can learn and apply with intentional activity.